Couples Counselling
Couples often come to counselling when they have had enough, so they have reached a spot where the relationship will most likely end if they don’t seek treatment. Therapy is a good place to express that there’s a lack of trust, explore how it was broken, work on
forgiveness (or retribution if necessary), and then create a space for new boundaries to be set so healing can begin. Building back trust can be difficult, but it’s far from impossible.
With the right tools, you can really begin to form a solid foundation to rebuild your relationship.
The goal of therapy is to develop an understanding of your own needs and the needs of your partner, gain a deeper understanding of your relationship dynamic, re-strengthen your bond, find coping skills, deepen intimacy and develop personal boundaries and self awareness. Finding a good couples therapist means having someone you both trust. Your therapist can listen to what you’re both saying and then give honest, impartial, unbiased feedback. This outside lens is an important benefit. It allows you to be your authentic selves, and get a professional’s take on where we head next. During conflict feeling safe is something both sides struggle with. To truly navigate conflict, you must be willing to be vulnerable, open up, and be honest. That can be scary. Couples therapy creates a safe space where boundaries are set and enforced, and a neutral third party oversees the process and can intervene when necessary.
No relationship is perfect, and there will be difficult times you need to learn to navigate.
Having the right coping skills in place can help you and your partner get through these challenging times.
EFT
Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT) is a highly effective process to help couples suffering from distress. EFT is based on a theory of adult love and attachment. It recognizes that relationship distress results from a perceived threat to basic adult needs for safety, security, and eloseness in in intimate relationships.
Couples Counselling helps by
Working to strengthen attachment bonds which in turn means couples feel safe together; realise that they are the most important person to each other; become more flexible in problem solving; communicate better; and feel more securely connected.
When triggered we have individual responses which can trigger our partner. Discovering these patterns can be life changing. The same old fight is finally resolved. The walls that kept you distant from each other crumble away and the feelings for each other grow stronger.
Working to heal and manage the trials of human emotions, I have witnessed clients find peace, safety and happiness both within their relationships in themselves, and that of their partners.
I have also studied various other modalities of couples counselling including Ester Perel, Harville Hendrix, Terry Real and the Gottman Method.